Mansplaining: The Unsolicited How-To

Recognise it, understand it, and learn how to respond effectively 😉

Ah, December. The month of cosy blankets, hot chocolates, and year-end reviews… and unsolicited explanations that pop up faster than Christmas decorations in a supermarket from September. Today, let’s talk about mansplaining : when someone explains something you already know better than them. While historically associated with men, this behaviour can appear in anyone. But for the purpose of this discussion, we’ll focus on the classic scenario, with humour and a critical eye 😉 because, apparently, it’s up to the knight to explain everything and save the day. ⚔️🦄

Mansplaining: A Festive Definition 🎁

Mansplaining happens when certain people feel divinely tasked with explaining everything and take it upon themselves to enlighten you on a topic that:

• you already master,
• you’ve studied,
• you work on professionally,
• or have just finished explaining.

All delivered with the tone of a Year 6 teacher correcting a distracted pupil or an uncle at Christmas dinner suddenly knowing everything about geopolitics after three glasses of wine. 🍷📚

Takeaway: This behaviour is about assumed authority and condescension, not just knowledge sharing.

Microwaved Examples 🔥

• You’re talking about a project you lead. They cut you off to explain what you just said. Word for word. (Remix 2.0 no one asked for. Why it matters: It undermines your expertise and can make you doubt your own knowledge.
• You describe a personal situation, and they reply: “Actually, what you feel is…” Thanks, Freud. 🛋️ Why it matters: It disregards your lived experience and imposes their interpretation.
• You’re an engineer, they’ve never touched a wrench, yet they feel qualified to explain a system “so you understand.” How thoughtful. 🔧😅 Why it matters: It’s a subtle form of infantilisation that can erode confidence over time.

Why It Drains Us 🥱

Because it’s never just an explanation. It’s a mix of:

• subtle condescension,
• polite infantilisation,
• and the firm belief it was ABSOLUTELY necessary to intervene.

And let’s not forget the classic: our ideas ignored… until a male colleague repeats them verbatim, and suddenly: genius! ✨💡

How to Respond (Or Not) 😏

Depending on your energy levels and sugar intake:

1. The December Stare. “I hear you. I’m not listening. Thanks.” Perfect for long meetings. 👀
2. The Sweet but Lethal Reply. “Thanks, but I’ve been working on this for fifteen years.” (Always smile.) 😎
3. The Mirror Technique. “What you just explained… is exactly what I said. Word for word.” Use sparingly. ⚡
4. The Strategic Exit. You don’t have to educate everyone. There are still presents to wrap. 😉🎁

Pro tip: Using these tools mindfully can assert your expertise without escalating conflict.

Must-See References 🎬

• Anne Depétrini – Quotidien (TMC): Iconic clip where she dismantles a male panel discussing menopause without a single woman. A masterclass in wit. 🇫🇷 Link
• Sophie Craig – “Mansplaining Menopause”: Short, punchy video, perfect comedic timing. 😅🇬🇧 Link

Takeaway: Seeing real examples helps recognise mansplaining in everyday situations.

A Personal Mansplaining Story 🙃

Here’s one I couldn’t resist sharing. One day, a very confident man explained, with the seriousness of a nature documentary narrator, that he knew perfectly a female project manager. He described how she works, what she feels, how she interacts with her team, and why she acts this way or that. Essentially, he was explaining who she is and how she works… better than me, apparently. 😳

I listened politely. He went on, passionately. The more he spoke, the more I wondered how he could be so convinced he knew this woman… who he actually knew nothing about. 🤦♀️

Then came the magical moment. I calmly asked: “Can you remind me of her name?” He told me. I showed him my work ID pass : it was me. 😱

I’ve rarely seen someone go so pale. Like a PowerPoint with no font. 😅

In short: a perfect mansplaining specimen, classic “let me explain who you are” style. 💼✨

Conclusion

Mansplaining is a bit like those Christmas lights you can never unpack without tangling: annoying, unnecessary… yet omnipresent. Luckily, humour, sharp comebacks, and a little self-mockery help us dodge the trap.

December may be cold, but laughter and pride in being yourself are powerful heaters. And remember: if someone tries to explain… who you are, offer them a hot chocolate and let them savour the surprise. 😉☕

Final takeaway : Recognise the behaviour, analyse its impact, and respond with a balance of humour and assertiveness. This is how we cultivate respect and equality in our interactions.

Take care and have a lovely Christmas break 💕

Sandrine Roux