Succeeding in life or succeeding at life? They're not the same.

We’ve long been sold the idea of success as a neat all-inclusive package:

a respectable job, a solid salary, a bright house, a well-organised life, ideally with no dark circles under our eyes. ✨

For years, I genuinely believed that “succeeding at life” automatically meant “succeeding in life”.

Same journey, same direction, same reward.

Until one day, I realised:

you can tick every box… and still be filling in the wrong form. 🎯

Succeeding at life: the shop window

Succeeding at life is the external layer.

It’s the shop-window version, the one we post on LinkedIn with a professional smile:

“Delighted to announce…”

It’s useful, structuring, motivating.

It gives us trajectory, goals, momentum.

But it can also turn into a machine that keeps running… while we quietly step out of it.

We progress, we perform, we impress…

And yet something feels missing.

As if we look brilliant on paper, but a little blurred on the inside. 💼✨

Succeeding in life: the inner compass

Succeeding in life is the invisible part.

It’s what no one sees , but what we feel deeply.

No KPIs.

No social score.

Just one essential question:

Does my life feel like my own? 🌿

It’s the choices that may not make universal sense, but make sense to us.

It’s the decisions that bring us back into alignment, even if they surprise those around us.

• It’s realising that serenity is a form of success in itself.
• That balance isn’t a luxury, but a long-term strategy.
• And that saying “no” is a highly advanced leadership skill. 💛

The trap: assuming one guarantees the other

• You can gain titles and lose your voice.
• You can lead teams and forget yourself.
• You can make an organisation shine while slowly dimming your own light.

I see it often in coaching:

Brilliant, talented, inspiring women…

who realise they’ve built a life that isn’t quite theirs.

Sometimes not at all.

And the slightly humorous twist?

Often, one simple question changes everything:

What do I really want? 🤔

The real definition of success: alignment

For me, success is no longer measured in status or prestige.

It’s measured in how closely our actions match who we truly are.

It’s when the professional no longer contradicts the personal.

When we can say: “I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, and heading in the right direction.” 🌟

• Succeeding at life without succeeding in life is uncomfortable.
• Succeeding in life without succeeding at life is possible, but often unstable.

Achieving both, that’s mastery.

• It’s an art.
• It’s a construction.
• And it’s deeply liberating.

So… which one should we aim for?

Both, but in the right order.

Because when we begin by succeeding in our own life, with our values, our boundaries, our energy, our choices, then succeeding at life naturally follows.

It becomes the authentic expression of who we are.

Not a performance, but a natural outcome. ✨

A closing question

👉 And you — what helps you move towards your own definition of success, the one that truly reflects who you are? 🌱